There are many temptations to hide our shortcomings and weaknesses, even from those who love us. But as many as those reasons are, there are better ones for letting quality people know the truth.
I was in a meeting recently with a few officemates. I told one of them, “I’m feeling a little bothered by _______. Help me figure this out. Does this person really have an issue that we need to deal with or am I just being impatient?”
The answer I received: That person does have an issue. But you are also impatient. Let’s wait for God to bring the issue to light.
I love working with people who know my shortcomings.
I am thankful that they know how flawed I can be and can help me with my weaknesses.
There are many temptations to hide our mistakes, even from those who love us. Maybe we’re afraid of being rejected. Maybe we think they’ll stop respecting us. Maybe we think our relationship with them will change if we admit it.
But as many as those reasons are, there are better ones for letting quality people get close enough to know the truth.
1. They can help us.
When we hide our sins, we’re saying, “I’m more concerned about my reputation than actually getting better.” That’s like saying, “I’m more concerned about looking healthy than really being rid of this sickness.”
The Bible says, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV 1984). By admitting our flaws to other people, we can get help. People who don’t admit their mistakes can’t be helped. How tragic it is to crash and burn with people all around who can help us. No, it’s better to admit it and get help.
Proverbs 27:6 (NIV 1984) says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
2. They can protect us.
Another benefit of being open with my flaws with my team is that they can cover for me. CJ Nunag, who used to be the national director in Every Nation Campus Philippines, knows how impatient, impulsive, and insensitive I can be. It isn’t news to him. I admit stuff to him at work that other people don’t know about. He balances me a lot.
But here’s an unexpected benefit: When other people complain to him about me, he can protect me. He can say, “Yeah, Joseph and I talked about that. I can assure you he’s sorry about it.” It stops the complaint right in its tracks. But CJ wouldn’t be able to do that if we weren’t open with each other. (And also, he’s really a great guy.)
There are people all around us who want to help. Let’s help them help us.
3. They probably know about it already.
Sometimes we think that admitting our mistakes will make people lose faith in us. As leaders, it can make our position insecure. But the truth is, they probably know about it already. They’ve felt our shortcomings and the effects of our failures. So hiding it from them only shows that there really wasn’t much trust to begin with.
But try admitting it and you’ll be surprised that you actually gain respect from them. In the story I wrote above, the person I was talking to is someone I am clearly overseeing. And yet, because of our relationship, we can talk with each other frankly. This hasn’t removed her trust in me as a leader, but only seems to strengthen it.
I pray that we all can experience the freedom in having a set of relationships with people that know about our shortcomings and love us anyway. If you don’t have that, send us a message in the ENC Leaders Facebook page. I’d love to introduce you to people who can do that—and to the One who can help you be that kind of person to others.
We may have started the year full of hope that things will be better than the year before. And yet our hopes may have been greatly diminished by repeated lockdowns and worse news than we’ve received the previous year. How...Soul Care
2021 has stretched us in so many ways—in our relationship with God and with others. It also challenged us in our leadership. Sa dinami-rami ng mga pagbabago, alam lang natin na ang bawat pinagdaanan at pinaglaban ay naghulma sa atin...Leadership