61 min
By: 3ncl3ad3rs

Episode 18: Sablay Moves sa Pag-ibig

February is love month and in this episode, we will be talking about romance and relationships. What are some sablay moves we may have seen or experienced in life? Why do some people resort to these moves? How can we respond if we find ourselves in this situation?

Play on:

2:09

Dave:

What is different about celebrating the love month in a pandemic?

2:25

Jello:

I normally don’t like February 14 because of the big crowd and traffic but because of the pandemic, some people may not be able to celebrate it as usual.

3:30

Cessa:

During this season, there is an increase in demand for flowers and chocolate. Also, I always look forward to UP Fair. However, since we are still in a pandemic, younger people cannot go out as usual. This is a different playing field in the game of love.

6:08

Sablay Moves – wrong ways or methods people use to get love and be loved or to be in a romantic relationship.

7:23

Top 3 Sablay Moves of Guys

7:33

  1. Sadboi
  • Emotional manipulation (e.g. “Sige na huwag mo na ako replyan, okay lang, sino ba naman ako?”)
  • Similar to guilt tripping
  • Starts off cute, but ends up toxic
  • Another term could be “emotional blackmail”

Why is this a sablay move?

  • This is sablay because it is being self-centered.
  • It comes from a position of needing other people to be okay.
  • For the receiver, this gives a feeling of being needed that may feel good at the start but can be tiring in the long run.
  • It sets up a big expectation for your partner which is unfair.

15:17

Cessa:

If you are on the giving end, you have a hole in your heart that you are trying to find in others and this can only be filled by God.

If you are on the receiving end, there is this hero or savior complex in us that makes us think that we are the only person that can save the other person. However, we cannot save anyone because Jesus is the only one who can save that person.

16:51

Jello:

Know the real Source of emotional security, love and affection.

17:08

  1. Ninja Moves
  • Making a move on a woman with unclear and hidden motives
  • Stealth moves, fishing for information, testing the waters

Why is this a sablay move?

  • This causes confusion to the other party.
  • Motives should be clear because this should come from a pure heart.

29:01

  1. Pa-fall
  • Somewhat a variation of ninja moves but the move is usually being done to many people simultaneously
  • Trial and error principle
  • Collect and select principle

Why is this a sablay move?

  • This does not train us to be committed in the future.
  • Doing this may mean you are treating women as less valuable.

32:54

Cessa:

We are of high value to God. We are God’s masterpiece, created after His own image.

Women are princesses, precious in the eyes of God. We should also look at them the same way God looks at them.

33:17

Jello:

Women are not commodities for our consumption to satisfy a need or longing. As a Christian, we should treat them as sisters (older women as mothers) so we need to protect them.

Only one voice is important and that is the voice of our Creator that says you are loved, accepted, and affirmed even in your darkest state. Let us understand this love more and allow this love to transform us.

34:30

Top 3 Sablay Moves of Girls

34:49

  1. Assuming
  • Going beyond what is presented because of being too emotional
  • Comes from longing of women to be seen and to get attention

Why is this a sablay move?

  • This hinders friendship between a guy and a girl.

38:34

Jello:

Men should normalize proper treatment of women (e.g. respect, being a gentleman). Women should help men grow in this area.

40:40

  1. Paasa
  • Woman counterpart for “pa-fall”
  • Building up an expectation you don’t plan to meet

Why is this a sablay move?

  • This is defrauding.
  • This also shows the insecurity of women.

47:50

  1. Needy
  • “Nakakasakal”
  • “Ginawang mundo ang tao lang”
  • Too clingy

Why is this a sablay move?

  • This causes isolation from friends and other people.
  • This could also cause temptation which leads to sin.
  • This may lead to toxic relationships.

51:25

Cessa:

We should view relationships, any relationship, as holy.

53:15

Dave:

When we have Jesus in our lives, we are already whole and made holy. Whether we are single or in a relationship. Regardless of our season, we are always called to holiness.

54:20

Dave:

Anything we can leave our listeners as we wrap up?

54:37

Cessa:

It is important to have mentors, ideally married couples, who can guide you, who can help you understand and have the right perspective on relationships. Find mentors who can teach you Christ-centered relationships.

56:41

Dave:

When it comes to relationships, it is always a community thing. It is more enjoyable when you have people journeying with you and supporting you. Involve the right people in this community. 

Holiness is something demanded from us because we have a holy God.

58:32

Jello:

Love or relationships should be a community endeavor. For those who are in a relationship or venturing into that, be connected. If we are that community, let us be that safe place. Trust the design of God for the church community where everyone is protected and cared for.

Today on Campus is hosted by Dave Estrera and Jello de los Reyes. In this episode, they are joined by Cessa Lapitan, a campus missionary from ENC Alabang.

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