35 min
By: ENC Leaders

Episode 28: Leadership Workout 1: Saying Sorry and Taking Full Responsibility for Your Mistake

We usually begin the new year with different kinds of resolutions to build good habits that can be developed through time. One of the most common resolutions is to start working out to strengthen our bodies. In the same way with leadership, we need to start doing “workouts” that will help us to become better leaders. In this episode, be ready to start doing one of the most important and powerful leadership workouts that will make an impact on your life and the lives of the people you are leading.

Play on:

0:49 We’re going to start a new series that is relevant to starting the year right — seven or eight essential Leadership Workouts that will help us in our leadership.

1:23 One good definition I’ve read about leadership (it’s definitely not complete and exhaustive, but it’s very interesting) was “A leader knows what the right thing to do is and has the ability to do it.” So, in this series we’re gonna talk about seven or eight workouts that you could be doing to strengthen your leadership muscles. 

4:53 When you know these moves or workouts, you don’t even need to have a position or title. No one needs to give you anything. Do these things regularly, as a workout, as a lifestyle, and you’ll be ready to answer the call to leadership when it comes.

5:33 Leadership Workout #1: Saying You’re Sorry and Taking Full Responsibility for a Mistake

This is one of the most powerful workouts not only in leadership but also life in general. This targets your humility, giving you better security as a leader, which you need.

6:55 A leader who can say sorry and can say sorry well has an amazing ability. Here are some of the benefits of having a strong “sorry” muscle:

  1. You can regain trust even after making a mistake.
  2. You can resume the initiative even when you’ve just blown it.
  3. You can begin winning back the people you thought you’ve lost.
  4. You can come out with deeper relationships, more trust, and more leadership capital than before you made the error.

Book Recommendation: The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman

12:36 Whenever I think about saying sorry well, I remember these languages of apology and I think to myself “What will resonate to the person I am talking to?” The languages of apology are simple:

  1. Expressing Regret
  2. Accepting Responsibility
  3. Making Restitution
  4. Genuinely Repenting
  5. Requesting Forgiveness

It might be that their language of apology is different from your language of apology.

16:48 Let’s talk about universal marks of a good apology. 

Recommended reading:   

  1. Address Everyone Involved, appropriately.

The right way to address them (who you’ve wronged) matters.

  1. Avoid if, but, and maybe.
  2. Admit Specifically.

“One goal of repentance (in the name of “loving our neighbor as yourself”) is to make forgiveness as easy as possible (which is never easy). We can do this by being detailed in our confession. Generic confession is often a sign of insincerity. “We all know what happened,” is no excuse for brevity. 

Hearing that you can be specific without falling into blame-shifting or self-pity is an important indicator that you are a “safe” person and that restoration is wise.” – Brad Hambrick

  1. Apologize (Acknowledge the Hurt)

“Remember, your goal in repentance is an effort to represent God more accurately to the person you have offended. God is compassionate and understanding to our hurts (Psalm 56:8). If our confession is rooted in a desire to make God known in each moment, then our confession will include evidence that we have reflected on the impact of our sin.”– Brad Hambrick

  1. Accept the Consequence.

“If our repentance and confession are sincere, then the need for consequences-as-punishment (to open blind eyes and soften a hard heart) is absent.” – Brad Hambrick

  1. Alter your Behavior.
  2. Ask for Forgiveness and Allow Time. 

““I‘m sorry” is not the same thing as asking for forgiveness. “I‘m sorry” is an appropriate statement after a mistake. “Will you forgive me?” is the appropriate statement when we have sinned against another person.” – Brad Hambrick

34:04 Another mark of apology — you’re not going to like this (saying sorry and taking responsibility for your mistake), it’s gonna hurt. Just like how working out hurts, your muscle hurts… Muscles were aching I never knew existed because I’ve never worked them out before. That’s a good thing. That’s your pride being killed. That’s your humility and security getting stronger. 

Processing Questions:

  1. Why do you think Leadership Workouts are important for your leadership?
  2. What are some of the things that you can already start doing to build the muscle of this first leadership workout?

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